10 Reasons why Tooth brushes are better than newts for brushing your theeth
Cad Grublygold the VVVVXXXXIIIXXXIIIIVVVVVXXIII will answer the burning question every homeless bridge dweller has asked, which is better for brushing your teeth, Newts, or tooth brushes. I have found after much trial and error that tooth brushes are indeed better, and have compiled a list to prove it.
10 reasons why tooth brushes are better than Newts .
1: Tooth brushes have bristles, newts do not. Tooth brush bristles don't try to bite your tongue.
2: Tooth brushes have rigid handles, newts are floppy.
3: Tooth brushes do not turn your tongue purple.
4: Tooth brushes leve your mouth fresh, newts leve your mouth smelling like newt, a favorite food of racoons. ( Ever been french kissed by a racoon in the middle of the night )
5: A tooth brush will sit were you put it until needed, newts make a mad dash for freedom while you are busy flossing.
6: Tooth brushes are not violently allergic to minty toothpaste.
7: Tooth brushes do not mistake your tonsils for grasshoppers, and attempt to eat them.
8: You do not have to chase a tooth brush into traffic so you can finish brushing.
9: A misplaced tooth brush will stay misplaced, and not end up in bed with you.
10: By now it should be obvious, tooth brushes are simply superior to newts when it comes to personal hygiene. Trouble is, I don't have one. Hmm..... toads mabey, wonder if they would work better........
10 reasons why tooth brushes are better than Newts .
1: Tooth brushes have bristles, newts do not. Tooth brush bristles don't try to bite your tongue.
2: Tooth brushes have rigid handles, newts are floppy.
3: Tooth brushes do not turn your tongue purple.
4: Tooth brushes leve your mouth fresh, newts leve your mouth smelling like newt, a favorite food of racoons. ( Ever been french kissed by a racoon in the middle of the night )
5: A tooth brush will sit were you put it until needed, newts make a mad dash for freedom while you are busy flossing.
6: Tooth brushes are not violently allergic to minty toothpaste.
7: Tooth brushes do not mistake your tonsils for grasshoppers, and attempt to eat them.
8: You do not have to chase a tooth brush into traffic so you can finish brushing.
9: A misplaced tooth brush will stay misplaced, and not end up in bed with you.
10: By now it should be obvious, tooth brushes are simply superior to newts when it comes to personal hygiene. Trouble is, I don't have one. Hmm..... toads mabey, wonder if they would work better........
posted by Cad Grublygold at 4:56 PM
3 Comments:
This is easily the funniest post Latigo Flint has ever read. I can't even write a witty comment as is typically my modus operandi.
You mock my pain.
Life IS pain your Grubbyness. Anyone who says different is selling something.
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