Porcupines for the Blind

Though woefully short on funds I have never the less decided to go a head with my foundation, Guide Porcupines for the Blind. This pet project is just my little way of giving back to a community that has given me so much kindness, and spare change now an then. Initial testing shows promise, however there are still issues to work out. On the up side, porcupines are rather easygoing by nature, but they tend to have a comfort zone which they don’t like to have violated by groping hands. As well the porcupines in my foundation have been violently and criminally abused, and there for tend to be a tad on the edgy side, this is not an obstacle though; it only means that their new blind masters will just have to love them that much more. Field tests are also showing promise as far as using the porcupines as guides on the street. None the less, here too there are one or two sticky points to work out. The main one is that porcupines are tree dwellers, and there for have a tendency to lead their blind masters into the tops of trees. This obviously is not ideal. The fire men have been awful patient in getting my test subjects down, and I am currently experimenting with electroshock therapy to try to motivate my porcupines to remain on the ground. Also porcupines are solitary creatchers, and tend to wig out now and then in public areas like a crowded shopping mall for example. The area which shows the most promise is in the around the house protection duties. Let us imagine that a blind person is about to grab a hot object like a curling iron, the porcupine will sense the danger, move the hot object out of the way, then curl up in its place, so in stead of getting burned, and having lasting scars, the blind simply grab a hand full of porcupine and get a sharp reminder to be more careful in the future. This also works for house pets that are in danger of being trod on by a blind bare foot. The porcupine will once again move the pet and dutifully take its place. By giving the blind these painful but important cues, they learn to think long and hard before they make a move, which is a good thing if you can’t see. I learned also that matching the right porcupine with the right owner is tantamount to ensuring a good relationship. This lesson was learned in the early days of my foundation when I matched little blind Billy with a rather frazzled old porker who had had a hard go of it in his life. I’m sure Billy meant him no harm, but I guess porcupines really hate having their ears pulled by a little blind kid. The doctors expect Billy to recover though, and he has undoubtedly learned a good life lesson about the feelings of woodland animals. It is stories like this and the magic of watching the exiting learning process that all new applicants undergo that makes it all worth the effort. The blind and the porcupine working towards a better tomorrow hand in hand.