Things I found in Bear Creek
Things I found in Bear Creek. An alphabetical list.
An old tin of
A fishing Boot with the toe bitten off. ( we have big fish in Bear Creek.)
A large Cod fish, with the toe of a fishing boot clamped in its teeth. ( this must have been quite a fight)………yeah yeah, I know that Cod only live in the ocean. I can’t explain it either.
Dilbert underwear, preworn.
A Styrofoam bowl filled with old Egg salad. ( I think it was egg salad, it tasted like it )
A Flute, shoved up the rectal cavity of a skeleton…… I’m not even going to guess on this one.
A stale bag of Gorp.
An old well used issue of Hotties For Hobos. The magazine that depicts nasty crack whores in compromising positions.
An Indigo Girls CD case with the CD missing………..damit……..
A car Jack, with some poor bastard still pinned under the car it was holding up, until it slipped I guess.
A bag of Kittens, lying at the bottom of the creek with a brick tied to one end. ( And you believed mommy when she said she was giving them away to happy homes filled with kids who would love them forever. )
A smelly Lump, unidentifiable, it may once have been a rodent of some sort.
Mittens….. at least that’s what the collar around its neck said. ( Dear Johnny from
A battered copy of Ninjas are watching you! Written by Hinsatogiichkaaah Hiiiikeeeyado
A dirty Oaf, sleeping until I made the mistake of poking him with a stick.
A Pin, now lodged deeply in my right buttock.
Quinn the Eskimo, ( he got lost on his way back from the wale hunt I guess…..now was it a left or a right at that last walrus carcass…….damn this infernal arctic, it all looks the same. )
A big loud Rumpus, it sounded like a Monkey, and a Weasel fighting it out in a Mulberry bush.
A Strumpet. I chased said Strumpet down the street, until she lost me in the vastness of the local Wall Mart.
A healthy dose of Tetanus from the pin I sat on.
A Unicycle. I’ll never know if it was a product defect, or the fifty shots of Yeager I consumed that caused me to face plant 100 times in a row, but I tossed the blasted thing back in the creek.
A family sized case of Valium, mixes well with Yeager, and unicycle riding.
Wanda the Heroin crazed crack whore, aka, Ms. March in the new issue of Hotties For Hobos.
A battered paper back, titled No we’re Not, Please Go Back To Drinking Your Chi Tea And Quit Looking Up At The Roof Tops. Written by Xiangiiodagithciidi Yingalingeeyarg
Yogurt…….actually at this point it’s closer to cheese, but for the sake of my list I’ll call it yogurt.
A Zygote…….I forget what the hell a zygote is……but I found one, honest I did.
posted by Cad Grublygold at 8:54 PM
4 Comments:
Rarrin'!!!
Cad made a big funny in this post, but it is sort of obscure, so I’ll give a hint. Look at the titles of the books I found in the creek, written by the Jap authors, then put 2&2 together..
Damn dude - Latigo Flint just sprayed the coffee he was drinking all over the keyboard. (You were right to notate, it was missed the first time.)
A weasel an’ a monkey were fightin’ an ya didn’ get pictures?! Dagnabit, Cad! This is da’ Bigfoot fiasco all overs again. By thar way, let me knows when da' great grassed weasel thin’ repellant is ready.
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