More Random Questions For Grublygold

More Random Questions For Grublygold.

Hi Cad you look horrible, I guess you lost that last fight with a fifth of Jack.

A: That’s not a question jack ass, this segment is random QUESTIONS for Grublygold, not the bag on Grublygold hour. Re phrase that last statement.

Q: Sorry, so….Lost that last fight with a fifth of Jack huh?

A: That’s better, yeah I lost big time. I was winning though till the damn sidewalk jumped up and punched me in the nose.

Q: I heard the recent rains left you stuck in a tree top with a monkey, did you guys bond?

A: We were bonding until I kicked his ass down the gullet of a hungry grass weasel.

Q: Awh….did the poor thing suffer?

A: Yes, horribly.

Q: I understand that You’re Porcupines for the Blind foundation was closed down by the Feds last week, does this in any way affect your new start up organization Bisons for Babies?

A: Absolute not. I anticipate that Bisons for Babies will be a huge success. Never again will parents have to worry about someone kidnapping their child, because who in the world would try to take a child that is tied to the leg of a Bison. As well, parents don’t have to worry about loosing their child in a large department store. If they get separated all they have to do is follow the trail of destruction and it will lead strait to their baby, safely tied to the leg of a huge hairy Bison.

Q: So then this Federal injunction against your first company will not affect your other non profit, Mountain Lions for Mongoloids either?

A: Nope, the current case only deals with Porcupines and Blind people. And for the record, the Feds can’t prove that being paired up with a porcupine caused the suicide rate among blind people to skyrocket, its all speculation. I’m sure that in time the courts will come to see that denying a blind person the opportunity to live with a criminally abused porcupine is doing them a grave disservice.

Q: Let’s change the subject. If a thousand ton train is headed for your drunken train dodge bridge, north bound at sixty MPH. And you are staggering south bound, at two MPH smashed off your ass on Rubbing alcohol and Vodka. At what point on the bridge would you have to fall sideways into the creek to avoid being hit?

A: Hah, I know this one, I did the equation last night in fact. I would have to vomit and pitch sideways into the creek at exactly ten feet six inches and one and one half centimeters from the first bridge post.

Q: If you had to get stung by one of those huge black waspy things that live down by the creek, would you rather get stung on the genitals? Or way up inside your ass some ware?

A: Ugh, I’m not answering that you fucking masochist. I think this interview is over………..oh fine……in the genitals, it’s kinda hard to rub anti sting cream up your ass…..now leave my bridge please.