Bad News From Merced

Bad news from Merced, the city counsel has given me until April 27^th to remove my hundred foot receiving tower that I built out of clothes hangers and aluminum foil so I can get net access under my bridge. They declared it an eyesore, a hazard, and a public nuisance. To this I say “bosh”!! The town of Merced is an eyesore to it’s self. Late one night I stole a highly endangered Condor from its nest, and attempted to duct tape it to my tower so the city would have no choice but to let it stay. However, the weight of the stupid bird nearly destroyed the tower making the reason for the birds being there moot. Sadly my satellite receiver/ killoray is not nearly ready for launch, so that is not an option. I vow to fight however, my super fortified sniper bunker is, unlike my satellite quite operational. Cleverly disguised as a large rohadendron bush, I command a fearful view of my tower and as I speak, am stockpiling ammo for the inevitable clash.

I’ll be sure to keep you all posted as the deadline approaches.