Since the beginning of this blog, I have from time to time written historical facts regarding the history and lore of Merced. Being a small town it is far easier to uncover it’s past. The more I look however, the more amazed I am at how truly remarkable this little unknown backwater really is. In past post’s I admit to adding certain embellishments for the sake of telling a good story, this is known as creative license, and every writer does it from time to time. When it comes to the little town of Merced though, no creative liberties are ever needed. Truth they say is stranger than fiction. The following is a short list of facts about this town, just as they are, with no need what so ever to stretch the truth. The extent to which this town is ignored by the outside world is astounding to the point of utter disbelief, many of the true facts I have listed below would be Nation wide news if it occurred in any other town. One or two of these facts would have easily made the news on an international level, but because they occurred in Merced they did not cause so much as a ripple out side the county line. Amazing!!!
1: Merced was named after the nearby river. This river was first discovered by Spanish missionaries from the south. The original name of the river was, The Clear Cold waters Of Our Lady Of Mercy.
This name of course was ridiculously long, and gave map makers migraines as they struggled to fit this stupid long winded title on to their documents, so the name was shortened to Mercy. Or in Spanish, Merced. The town was then named after the river.
2: Bear Creek, which runs through the center of town is home to the last known population of wild Beaver in the state of California. What the hell they eat, or how they have survived all this time in what is essentially an open sewer is unknown. A team of biologists went to this creek once, observed that there was indeed a viable breeding population, then simply shrugged their shoulders and walked away never to return. It made all the local papers, and that was it.
3: Ten years ago, a small group of school children playing on the banks Of Bear Creek unearthed a massive bone. A small party of curious locals returned to the site days later and unearthed the remains of a Woolly Mammoth, beautifully preserved in the mud. Shortly after, a grade school science teacher did some research and discovered that local farmers had been digging these things out of their fields for years, and simply casting them aside. Even today it is not uncommon to find an old farm house on the edge of town with odds and ends of a mammoth lying in the yard next to a broken down old jalopy. Even as I write this the giant leg bone of a god knows what is sticking out of the mud just down stream from the M.St. bridge!!! It’s sitting there right out in the open, but no one has ever bothered to dig it up, or see what it’s attached to!! The town just shrugs and goes on about it’s business. Four months ago workers at the town land fill unearthed a prehistoric bone yard of immense size. The find included the remains of Mammoths, Saber Toothed Cats, Giant Sloth’s, A species of prehistoric Rhino, and the remains of ancient humans. A small team was sent to the site from UC Berkley, and after poking around for a week or so they announced that the find exceeded that of the famous Labrea Tar Pits in LA. The city quickly laid plans to turn the site into a multi million dollar museum. But then due to budget woes they changed their minds, said fuck it, and continued using the site as a land fill. They never gave a reason as to why the project was scrapped, but I have a good guess. This is Merced, we could unearth the fucking Ark Of The Covenant, and it wouldn’t even make the front page of the next days paper.
4: Merced has the highest unemployment rate in the nation! It stands at 40%. That means that for every hundred people in the town, forty of them don’t have jobs!! ( Not that I can talk of course) Merced is also highest in the nation for teen pregnancy, and single mothers!! This is per capita of course, Oakland has more pregnant teens in it than Merced, but it is a bigger city. Merced also leads the nation per capita in crime and gangs, and ranks third in air pollution. If any other city on earth had these numbers, the national guard would be called in, and martial law would be declared until things could be sorted out, but once again this is Merced, and no one gives a damn.
5: Merced just weeks ago ranked second in the nation in housing costs. It was reported ( on CBS amazingly enough) that a house in Merced on average costs 77% more than a house in another city. If a house in Fresno was selling for 120,000. The exact same house would cost roughly 340,000 in Merced!!
This statistic is by far the most amazing of all, what kind of mind blasted sociopath would pay 70% over fair market value to live in the shit heap of the world??? I just defies all possible logic. Those who think themselves mighty smart will puff out their chests and say “ Well you see, Merced has become a bedroom community for San Francisco, people by houses in Merced, then commute to the Bay Area. This at first may seem like a sound theory, but riddle me this Mr. puffy chest. Why would someone buy a house in Merced, two and one half hours from San Francisco. When they could buy a house for way cheaper in Livermore and only be one hour from San Francisco?? When faced with this logic all those who think themselves smart simply sniff at you and stalk off.
All I can truly say on all the above subjects is that it’s just a Merced thing. The longer I live here, the less I seem to care weather or not I stub my toe on a Mammoth while jogging, or face a higher risk of being mugged on the street than in most inner city neighborhoods. One day I suppose I will just stop caring all together.
1: Merced was named after the nearby river. This river was first discovered by Spanish missionaries from the south. The original name of the river was, The Clear Cold waters Of Our Lady Of Mercy.
This name of course was ridiculously long, and gave map makers migraines as they struggled to fit this stupid long winded title on to their documents, so the name was shortened to Mercy. Or in Spanish, Merced. The town was then named after the river.
2: Bear Creek, which runs through the center of town is home to the last known population of wild Beaver in the state of California. What the hell they eat, or how they have survived all this time in what is essentially an open sewer is unknown. A team of biologists went to this creek once, observed that there was indeed a viable breeding population, then simply shrugged their shoulders and walked away never to return. It made all the local papers, and that was it.
3: Ten years ago, a small group of school children playing on the banks Of Bear Creek unearthed a massive bone. A small party of curious locals returned to the site days later and unearthed the remains of a Woolly Mammoth, beautifully preserved in the mud. Shortly after, a grade school science teacher did some research and discovered that local farmers had been digging these things out of their fields for years, and simply casting them aside. Even today it is not uncommon to find an old farm house on the edge of town with odds and ends of a mammoth lying in the yard next to a broken down old jalopy. Even as I write this the giant leg bone of a god knows what is sticking out of the mud just down stream from the M.St. bridge!!! It’s sitting there right out in the open, but no one has ever bothered to dig it up, or see what it’s attached to!! The town just shrugs and goes on about it’s business. Four months ago workers at the town land fill unearthed a prehistoric bone yard of immense size. The find included the remains of Mammoths, Saber Toothed Cats, Giant Sloth’s, A species of prehistoric Rhino, and the remains of ancient humans. A small team was sent to the site from UC Berkley, and after poking around for a week or so they announced that the find exceeded that of the famous Labrea Tar Pits in LA. The city quickly laid plans to turn the site into a multi million dollar museum. But then due to budget woes they changed their minds, said fuck it, and continued using the site as a land fill. They never gave a reason as to why the project was scrapped, but I have a good guess. This is Merced, we could unearth the fucking Ark Of The Covenant, and it wouldn’t even make the front page of the next days paper.
4: Merced has the highest unemployment rate in the nation! It stands at 40%. That means that for every hundred people in the town, forty of them don’t have jobs!! ( Not that I can talk of course) Merced is also highest in the nation for teen pregnancy, and single mothers!! This is per capita of course, Oakland has more pregnant teens in it than Merced, but it is a bigger city. Merced also leads the nation per capita in crime and gangs, and ranks third in air pollution. If any other city on earth had these numbers, the national guard would be called in, and martial law would be declared until things could be sorted out, but once again this is Merced, and no one gives a damn.
5: Merced just weeks ago ranked second in the nation in housing costs. It was reported ( on CBS amazingly enough) that a house in Merced on average costs 77% more than a house in another city. If a house in Fresno was selling for 120,000. The exact same house would cost roughly 340,000 in Merced!!
This statistic is by far the most amazing of all, what kind of mind blasted sociopath would pay 70% over fair market value to live in the shit heap of the world??? I just defies all possible logic. Those who think themselves mighty smart will puff out their chests and say “ Well you see, Merced has become a bedroom community for San Francisco, people by houses in Merced, then commute to the Bay Area. This at first may seem like a sound theory, but riddle me this Mr. puffy chest. Why would someone buy a house in Merced, two and one half hours from San Francisco. When they could buy a house for way cheaper in Livermore and only be one hour from San Francisco?? When faced with this logic all those who think themselves smart simply sniff at you and stalk off.
All I can truly say on all the above subjects is that it’s just a Merced thing. The longer I live here, the less I seem to care weather or not I stub my toe on a Mammoth while jogging, or face a higher risk of being mugged on the street than in most inner city neighborhoods. One day I suppose I will just stop caring all together.
posted by Cad Grublygold at 7:21 PM
1 Comments:
See kids, truth really is stranger than fiction!
(And I'm way ahead of you sweet Grublygold, I stopped caring a long time ago.)
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