Random Questions For A Crazy Indian

Random Questions For A Crazy Indian.

On the vast plains north east of Merced there lives a crazy Indian tribe. I managed to corral one of them long enough to ask him some random questions.

Cad: Hi there Big Chief Crazy Whoop, lets get started.

Crazy Whoop: How white eyes, what you want to know?

Cad: Why is the sky blue?

Crazy Woop: Long ago in the before land of my fathers fathers, turtle and rock were having a fight…..

Cad: Hold it, how can a rock fight with a turtle? And what the hell does this have to do with why the sky is blue?

Crazy Whoop: This is the story the great spirit has passed from the sky world down to my people, for one day long ago the great chief Wobbly Arrow asked the same question as you did.

Cad: Ya know what, let’s just forget that question and move on.

Cad: If you lived on Jupiter, how many months would there be in a year?

Crazy Whoop: Months?

Cad: Oh yeah, how many moons?

Crazy Whoop: Ah yes, I read once in a white mans book about this Jupiter, He was much smart.

Cad: What? No wait that was Jupiter Jones, one of the Three Investigators. I’m talking about the planet Ju……..ah never mind…..lets move on shall we.

Cad: How many Muskrats do you think would fit inside a 1979 Dodge Charger? And remember they all have to be inside, no tails hanging out the windows or doors.

Crazy Whoop: Hmmm is the white eyes talking about the thunder horse that moves across the land like the wind of a storm?

Cad: No that’s a train, I’m talking about a 79 Dodge Charger. So take a guess, how many Muskrats.

Crazy Whoop: Errrrrrrrr ummmmmmmm ooooooh A HEAP!!! HEAP LOADS!!!

Cad: You know, I’ll except that answer, you are correct.

Next question. A rabbit in the arctic grows fur to stay warm, but why does a rabbit that lives in the desert grow fur?

Crazy Whoop: One day in the before time, Rabbit and Fox lived in a tree. One day Fox said to Rabbit……

Cad: Aw Christ, not another story, just answer the dang question. Foxes live under ground any way, not in trees.

Crazy Whoop: Now this is so, but in the time before my father’s father’s uncles………

Cad: NEXT!!!!!! Why are teepees round? Why not build square ones?

Crazy Whoop: Square is the white mans way, only white man stupid enough to build stone teepee that needs many holes to drain off water from the roof! Indian say, ”haw haw look at stupid white eyes”. His teepee fall down when water collect on roof……….

Besides teepees are conical, not round.

Cad: Yeah Yeah what ever jackass, don’t you have a buffalo to go scalp or something.

Crazy Whoop: Yes I have talked the sun high into the sky, now I must go.

Cad: Sure, good luck, hope you step in a prairie dog hole you son of a *&#@*.

I’m not quite sure what I called Chief Crazy Whoop at the end of our interview, my Indian is rather rusty. However, seeing as they staked me naked to a red ant nest while buzzards circled over head eyeing my exposed testicals, it couldn’t have been anything very polite. I there for am deeply sorry for my offence.

YOU HEAR THAT DAMIT!!!!! I SAID SORRY!!!!!! NOW UNTIE ME FOR GOD’S SAKE!!